The boys were born 4 days before the average twin is born (36 weeks), 11 days before full term (37 weeks), 19 days before their scheduled C-section (38 weeks, 1 day) and 32 days before the average singleton (40 weeks). As each of the first three milestones have passed, I have shed hot angry tears of frustration and guilt that my body didn’t make it that far. “Average twin gestation? I didn’t even make it to average?” “If they’d been born full term they probably wouldn’t have needed a single intervention! They’d have gone straight to well baby nursery.” Worst of all was this past Wednesday, their scheduled C-section date. “I prayed a couple of dozen times a day that the boys would be born today. What could I and should I have done differently? My body betrayed us all. What a big fat fraud: 6’3″ and previous full-term gestation.”
Those hot tears froze on my cheeks as I read some posts in the forums of Northern Virginia Parents of Multiples this week. First came a gleeful announcement of the arrival of girl/boy/boy triplets with a proud explanation of the meaning of their names. A few days later it was followed by the announcement of a memorial service for the baby girl who had just passed away from multiple organ failure in the NICU. Then an expectant mommy of twins posted a classified ad asking for two car seats and and a snap-and-go stroller (which I responded to), and shortly thereafter a comment asking for advice and support since she’d just been put on bed rest with preterm labor. Three days later she posted a comment asking for leads on grief counselling as they had lost their battle with preterm labor and both their babies at 23 weeks. She also immediately posted a classified ad selling two car seats and a snap-and-go stroller that were “no longer needed.”
Things didn’t turn out the way that I’d hoped and prayed for, but they could have been a lot worse. Praise the good Lord above that my sons are here and healthy and whole, and that the only thing wrong with them is their mommy’s ungrateful attitude. And God bless the mommies who actually have something to cry about.