We have discovered the perfect ride for Peppers: The People Mover. For those of you unfamiliar with The People Mover, let me assure you it is the lamest ride in the park. This peerlessly tame ride exists solely for the kids and old people to have something to do while the rest of the party goes on Space Mountain. It’s a slow moving tour of other less lame rides in Tomorrowland and it is Pepper’s favorite. That’s like saying your favorite book is the Cliffs Notes to Anna Karenina. And my kids love it! Don’t get me wrong, Fluffy and Salty love The Seven Dwarves best, but if we were to average the three children’s affection for all rides including intensity, their favorite rides would be
1. People Mover
2. People Mover at night
3. Escalator to the People Mover (which is actually an inclined moving walkway)
4. Escalator to the People Mover at night.
Truly, in its long existence, the People Mover has never been more loved than it is right now. Peppers particularly loves that at no point in the ride does our little fraidy cat have to scream, “Cover my eyes!!”
Despite the rain, we stayed in the park until close last night because the only ride with a line was The new Seven Dwarves, and since that line was 10 minutes long, Fluffy went five times in a row. But even with their choice of any ride in the park, we still had to go on The People Mover a few times.
Kent and I were so thrilled to be doing Disney so efficiently and so slap happy from laughing at how our crew managed to spill four out of five drinks at dinner, an 80% spill rate, after we had taken off our rain ponchos at the table. The fact that we kept spilling drinks one after another is a bummer. The fact that we needed our rain ponchos indoors at the restaurant as much or more than we did out in the rain is, wait for it, ironic.
And so we started chanting, “When i say ‘people’, you say ‘mover!'” “When I say ‘at’, you say ‘night!'” etc. I’m sure there are hipsters out there who wear People Mover fan shirts ironically, and we are about to join them.
A big thanks to all the responsible parents who left the park yesterday to get their kids out of the rain and put them to bed at a reasonable hour in their warm, dry resorts. I’m sure they had a wonderful all had a wonderful time. Meanwhile we had an even better time in the park spilling drinks on each other and riding The People Mover until the rides all shut down. And then we bought salted caramel brownies. This is parenting.