Last time I was in Target, I passed a woman with her toddler son wearing one of those stuffed animal leashes. I remember the first time I saw a kid wearing one thinking, “YIKES, that’s got to have some disturbing psychological consequences later on.” But I didn’t say anything.
And then I thought about this mother and her life. And then I turned my cart around. And then I hunted her down and managed to pass her again so I could say,
Me: Oh, that is so cute. What a smart idea!
And she smiled and said thanks, and we parted.
Even though I was pressed for time on this shopping excursion (as most others), I made this a priority because there were many times when my young boys were old enough to run in separate directions and not old enough to know better when I needed a leash or two–because the choke collars and cattle prods I wanted were out of stock. During one such time when I took the boys to a busy Smithsonian in leashes, a know-it-all teenager impressed his friends passing by me by observing
D-bag: That’s got to have some disturbing psychological consequences later on.
All together now…SO’S YOUR FACE!!!
And no, it isn’t going to make the boys think they are pets. At least no more than putting the boys in cages at night (cribs) and covering them up like birds so they can sleep (car seat covers). It also has the very immediate physical effect of keeping them from running out into traffic on Constitution Ave., so I’masay, mind your own business.
I’m not telling anyone they need to use leashes. I have a strong Many Right Ways attitude toward parenting. But I do think if you find yourself needing a leash at Target, you also need someone to tell you “You’re doing fine. Keep up the good work.”
And here we are treating the boys like baby kangaroos, or joeys, and ruining Salty’s spine and hips in a forward facing Bjorn, blah, blah, blah.