We had a good run. For some years there, my kids had costumes that were either clever or fabulous.
Salty and Peppers:
- Future Non-Astronauts (After space program cancellation)
- Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte
- Two Musketeers
This year we were so excited for all 5 of us to dress as Elsa. What? Disney princesses? That is so lame. I thought you guys liked to do something out of the box? Nonononono. You see, if all five of us including the boys and Kent are in Elsa costumes, we are not going as Elsa, we are dressed as The Over-Popularity of Frozen, or perhaps more precisely The Over-Popularity of Elsa. Now that’s good irony. I even bought two Elsa dresses for the boys. And then, disaster.
The Fluffatron 3000 declared she would not go as Elsa. “I don’t want to go as any character. I just want to go as someone beautiful. I want a long and flowy dress.” “Elsa has a long and flowy dress.” “I don’t want to go as Elsa.” What is wrong with this child?
Ordinarily, I would say, Darn straight! Why go as a Disney character? Let’s do a literary character or historical figure. Something no one else will go as (although there was another Glinda last year).
But after all that, she picked Cleopatra. Yes. But, but, but, but that’s a character! Okay, a historical figure. But Cleopatra is like the forth most popular female Halloween costume behind 1. Dorothy, 2. Slutty Dorothy, and 3. Slutty Cleopatra. Heck, I was Cleopatra in 5th grade. I’m still Cleopatra approximately twice a month when I get carried away with my eyeliner. It’s the most banal costume I can imagine.
So what did I do? Did I steer her manipulatively toward her second choice Guinevere? I did! Did I succeed? I did not. No. Like the Mother of Fluff that I am, I put the fancy golden Cleopatra costume with the cape that attaches to the arms (the main reason she loves the costume) into the shopping bag and bought it. This is the part where I admit that costuming my daughter is now more about pleasing her than impressing my friends.
And that, dear unimpressed friends, makes this a sad, sad, day.