My sister’s baby watch pushed the Friday Fluff off a bit, but these moments must be shared even if it is a Monday.
In the car, Fluffy suddenly says:
Fluffy: Mom, you’re not fat at all. I think you are so, so skinny. You’re skinny.
Me: Well, thank you. What makes you say that?
Fluffy: Well…I kind of don’t want to say it because it’s rude.
Me: Okay, you can tell me, and I won’t tell anyone.
Fluffy: Well, I’ve seen much fatter people in my life. Much fatter.
Me: Much fatter?
Fluffy: Yeah, like they would be three times your waist. So you’re skinny.
To her father, also unprompted by anything we could think of:
Fluffy: Dad, you’re not fat. Don’t let anybody ever say you’re fat. You’re medium.
As I walk back into the house in sweatpants and a grey T-shirt lightly speckled with paint from helping a friend paint her trim:
Fluffy: Wow, Mom! You look the most beautiful you’ve ever looked.
Me: Uhhhh, thank you?
Fluffy: I think you look the very best when you don’t try to look all fancy with your hair and makeup and just normal clothes. Because then you look the most like a mom.
I guess she’s caught on that when mom actually pulls herself together, it means I’m either teaching or going out, both of which spell babysitter for Fluffy.
And finally, just so you know where you stand, kids:
Fluffy: Dad, I think you are just the best dad in the world. And if anybody ever tried to say that their dad was better, my heart would punch their heart and throw it in a pile of poo.
Wait, one more. I just remembered how much my 6 year-old loves to talk about poop.
Fluffy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fluffy: To poop on the other side!
Me: Where did you hear that?
Fluffy: I just made that last part up myself so it would be even funnier.
Me: Well done, Fluffs. You took a classic joke and made it your own.