Attention, Men of earth!
Read this. Please.
I especially like point 6, “Your wife wants to feel heard.”. Kent and I have been known to fall into this pattern of me trying to get him to hurry by freaking out more and him trying to get me to calm down by acting like it’s no big deal. You can see how terribly ill-suited are our methods to achieving our objectives. We both have this idea of where the average of our anxiety levels over this lateness should be. I say 7, he says 4. But if he’s casually checking his email one more time like it’s a 4, then I have to act like a 10 to get the average up. So we just end up late and hateful trying to out-attitude each other. Dear men, if you would just manufacture a modicum of urgency, we would be so thrilled, so relieved.
Point 2, :”Judgement matters”, is critical as well (no pun intended). The only people who really don’t care what anyone thinks of them are dangerous sociopaths. The free-spirited people who seem like they don’t care what anyone thinks of them may have a smaller or more specific pool of fellow free-spirits whose opinion matters to them, but they still care. They just think acting like they don’t care whether you like them or not will make you like them. We are social creatures and self-projection matters. Unless you’re going to crawl off into the wilds of Alaska to die alone in a bus, you need to have some investment in what people think of you. I’m not saying it’s healthy to constantly crave the attention and curry the favor of every person in the room and every rectangle in your facebook feed. I’m just saying let’s not pretend it’s feasible or even desirable to be totally oblivious to our self-presentation.
Also, I need more sleep than you, apparently (point 4). So stop judging me for getting up half an hour later than you. Wait. When did that ever happen? It should!
And here’s Flufferella dancing with a partner of her own fashioning. She loves that he always validates her concerns over being late. And he’s so tall.